In these times of social isolation, I stopped and looked at what I’ve learned in my 50 years on this planet. It became a list of lessons from and for the people in my life.
1. Believe in yourself…
…not in the version other people have of you. There are so many people offering opinions, advice, perspectives. That is nice and loving and I listen. But… now I also know: I am good the way I am. I am perfect in my imperfection. I am enough… A “work in progress” perhaps… but also a masterpiece….
Nina taught me about this when she was only 12… She said: Imagine if you were left alone on this planet… and you had always done what other people wanted and expected from you… then you would be alone with yourself and not even with be your real self, but with a version that others have made of you… (all credits go to my daughter’s idol Billie Eilish).
2. Do your own thing
Do not conform to social norms, cultural values and traditional expectations. Don’t be guided by “what they say”. All my life I have made choices that others said were “unwise,” “not normal,” or even “rebellious.” I was often told “Do you really think you should do that? (and not just from my dear protective parents)… Like for example…
…when I left home when I was 17 to move in with a 10-year-older immigrant man whom I was madly in love with: I never regretted it, they were wonderful years during which I learned so much about life and passionate love…
…when I, as a 20-year-old girl, went to London on an internship all alone while my fellow students stayed “nice and safe” near their parents.
…when I (and then it was not as common as it is now) I gave up everything I had built up (house, car, job) and left for Asia all by myself for an indefinite period of time.
…when I traded my adventurous existence in my 30s for the peace, regularity and purity of a career, owner-occupied home, marriage and motherhood.
…when I started looking for adventure again around the age of 40 and gave up the (false) security of a permanent job.
…and the total career switch in my forties to become a hypnotherapist…
I still continue to reinventing myself. Refusing to stand still. Bu instead to grow. Develop. Evolve. Don’t let anyone tell you what is impossible. Show them how to walk your own path.
See wonders in everything. No matter how difficult it is sometimes, there is always something good that happens that we are not aware of at the time. Incomprehensible things happen to protect you, you are sent on a detour to help you learn and grow. When you are grateful, life will give more things to be thankful for. I’m grateful for my life, for my parents, I’m glad they are still in my life.
4. Live your mission
You are here to contribute to the world. Fulfill that mission, create impact. Pursue meaning instead of success, love instead of power, impact instead of fame. I am committed with heart and soul to help people live their lives as happy and joyous as possible. I have found my contribution.
Holding a grudge is punishing yourself. Forgive but don’t forget the lesson. People you love will break your heart, you will be cheated, your trust will be abused, you will be lied to. Learn from it, get back up and be a better person. Sometimes you have to be a parent to yourself. My greatest teachers are the people who have made me cry the most. My greatest growth came after the greatest pain. Forgiveness was my salvation.
6. Take care of yourself
If you take good care of your body and mind, it will give you everything you need. Eat well, exercise a lot and take time alone to connect with yourself. If you are still, the roar of your thoughts will be silenced and you can hear the whisper of your heart. Then you hear your inner voice, your intuition: who you are and what you want. My life became meaningful and successful from the moment I took the time and space to connect with myself.
7. Let go
We suffer because we resist what is. As soon as we can accept that something is the way it is, without wanting to change it, the suffering stops. Many people struggle because they are attached to physical things: money, success, influence, fame and people. Love it, be grateful but don’t get attached. It’s all temporary. I see life as a playground these days. There is so much to discover and it never stays the same.
8. Mindset is everything
We want to change, transform, a better future. But it doesn’t work because we carry with us beliefs that have been shaped by past experiences. So we keep doing what we always did, and we get what we always got… That’s why I’m passionate about the power of our subconscious mind and I help people to reset the old programmings and create a new powerful mindset, so that they can design and manifest their own future.
9. Find happiness within
Happiness comes from within, not from outside: not from a nice house, a handsome partner, not even from your own children. It comes from within you. Look within yourself, find what makes you happy and give it to yourself. One of the most beautiful ways to cultivate happiness is to create stories. I create nice and inspiring stories in my head. We always live in a story. So it’s better to choose the story you want to live in than to accept someone else’s story.
10. Consciously choose your ‘tribe’
We all need three kinds of people in our own personal tribe:
1. people you inspire
2. people you resonate with on an equal footing
3. people who inspire you
I’m lucky enough to have people in my life from all three groups. Thank you for being in my life, dear you. Let’s explore this playground further together.
My post-corona dream is to create even more effortlessly, in confidence and flow. What is your post-corona dream? Share it with me.